What led me into science?

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My love for psychology and research began as a 13-year-old kicking a soccer ball against my fence.

Like many kids, I had big dreams. I was one of millions of kids who envisioned playing professional soccer, training diligently to achieve my goal. However, during my teenage years, I realized my dream was a distant one. Further, I recognized that professional soccer would deprive me of the joy in simply playing the game. Not interested in quitting, I sought ways to positively contribute to the world of soccer.

Throughout my career, I struggled with performance anxiety, doubting my skills, expecting perfect performances, and worrying about disappointing: coaches, teammates, family, friends, and fans. However, before games, I would read a sports science pamphlet titled "7 Common Mistakes That Every Soccer Player Makes" to reshape my thoughts, mitigate my fears, and better prepare me for the challenge ahead. But there was something in me that knew I was not the only player who faced this internal struggle. So, I began researching the source of my pregame nerves and found my intuition was correct – anxiety was a common phenomenon. I was normal. More importantly, I wanted to alleviate the impact similar feelings of frustration and inadequacy had on other players. This manifested in wanting to understand how thoughts and emotions shape behaviors. What started as a generic interest in sports science manifested into a curiosity in sports psychology.

Soon, my passion for coping with performance anxiety extended beyond soccer toward other issues such as anxiety and depression. Clinical psychology intrigued me. I understood the impact of negative emotions through personal experience, and sought to further help individuals with mental health struggles. Clinical psychology became my new dream throughout high school until my final semester where a new class expanded my horizons.

During that last semester, I took a class called Christian Relationships, which analyzed social relationships with a Catholic perspective. For me, it was a Social Psychology class. Our teacher asked us to explore articles from The Pew Research Center on social dynamics and trends for discussions. The research about relationships across social parameters (race, sex, gender, etc.), especially platonic, romantic, and familial, fascinated me. I became curious to understand why these trends occurred.

The Pew Research Center's infographics and charts captured my attention. These graphics represented key findings in an engaging, creative, and concise manner for people of all educational levels. At that point, I realized what research is: answering the questions that the curious mind struggles to answer on its own. Research is investigating my model of the world, exploring my perspective on the inner workings of the mind. My course redirected toward a role helping others understand the human condition. Just like soccer, research was an alturistic avenue where I could, through the tools of science, improve people’s lives. 

This experience inspired me to explore experimental psychology.

I came into college with the dream of working at a think tank researching psychology, but over time, I learned the interests of think tanks didn’t align with mine. Instead, after two years of working in psychological research at Dartmouth, I intend to dedicate my career to public sector and academic science.

My academic studies at Dartmouth comprises primarily psychology courses, with cognition as my intended subfield. I am investigating the psychological processes that construct our subjective experience and how these processes are implemented in physical circuitry. Ultimately, I intend to dedicate my psychology career to understanding the neural mechanisms of these processes.

Going forward, I seek to understand the nature of subjective experience and determine how we acquire conscious awareness. Consciousness is the most fundamental human aspect, yet the least understood concept in science. In the not too distant future, I will help answer these questions. At least that's what I tell myself at night.

Lofty goals?  Yes.

Will I strive to achieve my goals? Absolutely.